Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
