Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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