Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
