p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
