And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
