Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
