Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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