He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Randomize
