My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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