11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
