I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
God gave him joint rollers for hands
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
What a dumb baby whore.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
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