im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
