you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
