I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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