i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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