According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
