Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
