I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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