You can't special order awesome
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
