when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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