I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize