In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
