fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
