Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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