Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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