I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
