the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
