i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize