She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
