How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
