HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
You are a genius and a whore.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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