I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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