farters have to be the big spoon...
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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