i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
