Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
