i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Randomize