i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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