So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
false alarm, still single
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
