38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
