hell yes lets make some ravioli
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Rumble strips road head = magical
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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