Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Randomize
