This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
