true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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