u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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