Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
