she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
