I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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