Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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