So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
