Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
