Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
