Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
