Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
