I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
