i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
He kissed a someone with a penis
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
