Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
