and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
