She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
You brought string cheese to the strip club
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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