just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
