I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
