i think my mom watched the whole time
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
