youre lurking in front of me
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I think I just sharted jello shots
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