Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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