In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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