i'm signing you up for texting rehab
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
