Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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