I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
