she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
