Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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