just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
